so things are still really shakey over here. jordan stopped calling again. i hate it when he does this. i guess he really doesnt care about me like he said he did. i currently have no car because i got it taken away so that completely and totally sucks. i hate being driven everywhere i feel like a little kid. things with my family right now are just so messed up. i'm grounded from the computer too but i sneak on so whatever. i cant handle my parents accusations anymore. they are driving me insane.
school efffing sucks. my grades are slipping and i have to take the SAT's tomorrow. i'm not pleased. and prom is coming up and bleh....thats going to be a fiasco i can tell already. i do love having catherine at school. otherwise i really think i'd go insane.
i dont know what to do about boys. they confuse the fuck out of me. 
"I'm mad at myself, not at you. I'm mad for always being nice, always apologizing for things I didn't do, for getting attached, for making you my life, depending on you, wasting my time on you, thinking about you, following you, changing for you, forgiving you, wishing for you, dreaming of you, & most of all for not hating you, which I know I should but I can’t."
"I used to look out for everyone but me. Everyone's needs, especially yours, were put before my own. I made many apologies for things that were never my fault. I gave into many things that I didn't want to do and forgot many words that should have never been said. I forgave many things that I should have never forgiven. After all that I realize now that you can never forget, and words do hurt."
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